I GOTS A LOTS TO SAY, OKAY?

ITS BEEN ... *DISCREETLY GLANCES AT THE DATE ON THE LAST POST* ... ITS BEEN...!

I was gonna write in june, and then i didn't. I was gonna write in JULY and then i was drafted. I was gonna write in AUGUST. And then i didid. This is very unfortunate for me as someone who experiences memory loss, because now i'm being forced to remember the past few months. Give me strength.

JUNE. Start of the summer... One of the many seasons (4) of the year... I was going to say that i finished college in june, but instead it was may! For the most part, phenomenally uneventful. Barely got to spend time with friends outside of a brief point when i went to the yearly convention in my town. I spent most of the time there following around someone i KIND OF knew and watched a circle of people dressed in Miku cosplays, but besides that i didn't spent much time there.

Conventions aside, i started getting into the 28 movies aswell. The release of 28 Years Later was coming up which i was pretty pumped for ! My only exposure to the series previously had been through a friend so I was eagar to see the latest addition firsthand. I'm not a film critic by any means, nor do i have the vocabulary to make what i have to say sound smart. I thought it was pretty good though, despite the general consensus.

JULY. Artfight ... The Pride Parade ... Miscellaneous third thing that my brain won't recall at the time of writing ... Ourgh.
Artfight was grand! I've never ran into issues during the events despite what most people say in their experience, but that's probably because i don't keep up with anything. Ever. But this year i got to experiment with different kinds of attacks. Rarely ever have i deviated from the standard static 2d art, so this year i started messing with animated attacks, 3d models, minecraft character models, etc etc. It's times like these where i WISH the event was more frequent, or if there were art events similar to it that let you interact with other artists. Maybe there will be more in the future! I hope and pray...

As for pride, it was a massive let-down for me. Not for any reason outside of myself, of course. it was just that this month i was feeling particularly bad about my identity (Apothisexual/Sex-Repulsed) that i didn't feel confident in going. It's already immensely difficult for me to be taken seriously in LGBT spaces, god forbid i try to exist in one in public. I could go on, but i did want to make a page dedicated to recognizing the identity. Hardly gets recognized as is, which is surprising to me.

All of which is to say, i stayed home and drew Livewyre until i felt better.

So, now it's August! Things online are going BAD. Popular websites and services are being more invasive than usual and now i have to holler at my friends about how they should make their own sites instead of relying so heavily on places like Youtube and Twitter! I don't think you get to complain about it if you won't even make the effort to do anything to help yourself.

Two days ago, after 7 whole years, i have finally shed myself of the "teen" label ... I am now old! er!

It really IS weird realizing that i'm not a teenager anymore. Not that i feel too much sentimentality towards it, but it HAS been a big portion of my sentient life. The decade that contained most of my growth as a person has come to a close, and i've made it out on the other side. It's odd to think about but my teens weren't exactly superb. I owe a lot of overdue ire to a LOT of adults, but i'd like to think i'm stronger than they ever could of been. I've finally put on the same big boy shoes and in retrospect the lot of them should of been mocked til kingdom come! But, i'd be a fool to divulge deeper, as much as i'd love to wring them about it. Despite this working as some form of a diary i don't think this is the appropriate place! I owe you nothing!

The day itself was nothing to gawk at. I actually had, like, two appointments lined up that i had to attend; both regarding mental health junk. Probably not one's ideal birthday gift, but i think finally being able to seek help at such a point in my life is somewhat fitting. Its nice! Heartwarming! Third positive adjective!

Otherwise though i can't say i really did much. I don't live near friends, my birthday was right before a college day - so i couldn't organize anything. Part of me is a little sad that i couldn't do a whole lot more with such an important day, but there's no worries.

That said, doesn't mean the day was totally wasted! I recently joined an ART-RPG called 'Paper Demon', which so far has been a blast to work on. I'll have to update my illustration gallery to include the pieces i've done, but i might make a seperate page for PD related art alltogether? Mayhaps? I've been wanting to update some site stuff for a bit. I'd been eyeing that old SugarForBrains site and i really like the menu it had for the different types of art (illustrations, fanart, gifs, animationms, yadaydaydayyada). I have a VAGUE idea of what i want to do, but i need to figure out HOW to do it ...

AND SPEAKING OF ART ... I GOTS.. CLIP STUDIO PAINT EX V4... Which means i can FINALLY animate on a program i'm comfortable with.. (evil face)... It was a bunch of tech stuff i managed to get. I'm waiting on a binder for it but i was given a CD burner with a bunch of blanks. See - i've an interest in collecting CDs, but the tragedy is that majority of the bands i listen to in my day to day don't exist anymore! The only Screaming Mechanical Brain CD being resold is In Defiance of Science. I was just lucky to nab the cheapest one (£5! Not including shipping. Oh my god the shipping.) The binder should come today - i'm writing this at 1 in the morning, but once i finally get everything for it i will be unstoppable ... and also be able to pirate ... happy days ^_^

I'm in the very very final very last stretch of my college year with less than two weeks to go (3 days per week). One last push and i'll be home free and can have fun to my hearts content! ...Up until the job i applied for gets back to me!

Another month done and dusted! April was decent. Spring break sucked up most of my time this month so to say it was eventful would be a big, fat, stinking lie. But if reading the title of this entry is any indication, i can certainly make up for what otherwise i wouldnt be able to write.

The Minecraft Movie! A Minecraft Movie It came out! I was planning on seeing it with friends but it didn't come to fruition sadly. But, i DID get to watch it in the theater on my own time!

The chances of me delving into spoiler territory are pretty slim. Not that this is going to be a complete retelling of the plot or whatever, but i really do recommend going into the movie completely blind.

Certainly an interesting time going to watch the movie in the cinema. I saw it a few days after it came out, just on the very last day of college before spring break began. DESPITE being advised to see the movie with friends for peak A Minecraft Movie experience, I went on my ownsome. Suppose it was better for me to have gone and seen it on a day where i would of left college earlier, it wasn't nearly as packed as i thought it was going to be. Still a substantial amount of folks in the audience, but far from a full house.

Ideally, i would of wanted to get a seat at the very far back. I'm what you would call "too out of it" to engage with what majority of audience members were doing, alongside having the sense not to make the day of some poor cinema staff worker just that slightest bit harder. Didn't join in on the yelling at every keyword, i just wanted to see the movie as is. The back seats were all taken, but the kiosk for buying tickets did a rather poor job at displaying the seating (to me, anyways).

I really did think that i bought a ticket for the very far back. But after seeing the whole row packed with teens and a very misheard conversation between me and 6 different highschoolers, i realized i accidentally bought a ticket for Row A. At the VERY front of the theater. In the DEAD CENTER of the row.

Approximately an hour or so. I have become unwillingly familiar with the pores on that villager's nose.

There's not a whole lot i could say that hasn't been said in most other recounted cinema experiences with this movie. Since i was at the very front i couldn't see the carnage of the audience during the infamous chicken jockey scene. Not once did i turn around to look, but if you told me they started tearing eachother asunder over it with how rowdy they got i wouldn't doubt you for a second.

Most surprisingly about it though was that THAT wasn't the point that had staff coming in to tell them off. It was actually around... 20 seconds into the movie (as in, during the intro cards for the studios who worked on it). First time i've ever seen a movie get paused in a cinema, the thought of it never occured to me. I almost thought it was a bit until it lasted longer than 5 seconds.

It's an alright flick! Treat it with as much seriousness as you would with the likes of the Five Nights At Freddy's movie or other game-based films with slightly heavier hearts. You're better off not thinking too hard on the quality.

But out of the entire experience, the highlight of it all had to be when i was about to get up and leave after seeing the post credits and ALMMMOST getting decked in the head by a plastic diamond sword some kid hurled from the very back of the theater at the screen itself.

He missed, by the way.

Diversity win! The webhost is a feeble little leprechaun.

Talk about Saint Patrick's day with someone outside of ireland for five minutes and they'll soon discover that Irish is a language and not a funny bunch of drunk old men. True Story! It was a strange talk to have considering I grew up thinking people already KNEW that. If it was ever told to me then chances are I probably didn't quite catch it. I never paid attention to that sort of thing because i didn't find it relevant to me.

St Paddies day was alright for me. I didn't do much for it, unfortunately. I'm not the biggest on alcohol, even with how many brands my family introduced me to to see if i could find SOMETHING i'd like. The closest we got was Orange Flavored VK, but even then i don't think i could casually drink it. After a sip you'd immediately get a bitter aftertaste, so to avoid that while still enjoying the drink i would of had to keep going! If there's anything to have learned from the experience, is that i'm the type of person who gets reaal sleepy when drinking alcohol.

Regardless, St Paddies day marks the final holiday of winter, and as of yesterday spring has finally come! Gone are the days of getting on a bus while it's DARK and COLD out. Gone is the LONGEST season of the year. We're in march! As much as i forget the season exists, i'm happy it's there to be the end of winter. Good riddance until December!

As a bonus, spring is my birth season! In less than 60 days i will be MODERATELY older than i am now ! Hooray ^_^

Ladies ... GentleMans ... Miscellanious Pronounes ... It is a day of love! Saint Valentines blessing for pairings around the globe...! And I am not one of them! Nor part of one of them! Or have plans to be!

Some shocking news maybe, but I don't particularly mind! For an identity that leaves me restating the same old boundaries each time i meet a brand new friend, I'm not bothered by the love day! The odd thought comes and goes about relationships but ultimately I find myself quite happy on my very own!

I've never understood it, personally. It's so strange the way some people go about the topic, or about asking people. In all my years of living i have not once found myself feeling different about someone who i am friends with. I have never felt as if they were more or less to me, and trying to tell the difference between feelings for a friend and feelings for a crush would be Sisyphean. I don't care enough to learn, though. Nice as it sounds, that's the idea on paper. In practice though, i just don't think i could see myself doing it. That's a LOT of energy to put into one person, and i would hate to get sick of someone who cares for me so dearly.

Valentines day does not have to stop at just romance, though! Although i do not celebrate it myself, any sour feelings about the holiday could be reconstructed into care for your friends! For people who matter to you! It does not have to be a losing game for anybody! I am not sure what a couple would do on Valentines day that would differ from the average day together, so however someone wants to spend the day platonically is entirely up to them! Buy gifts! Do things! WhatHaveYou!

I am writing this at the end of the day. It may be at midnight, but I myself am attending a birthday party for one of my friends! With the rest of a friend group! Even if it is not within the 24-hours of Valentines Day, i am still content to spend time with the people i am friends with!

JANUARY IS OUT - FEBURARY IS IN.

Two entries in and I already would like to complain! I would love to have one of the million other topics to talk about today, but my brain has been wracked by this One Thing throughout the month!

I am in a college class for animation. However, the class i am in especially is the first ever year group of the course! Which makes us the guinnea pigs of the whole two years. Which means that our two years of the course are all kinds of messy in terms of coordination. Which MEANS that everything we have done so far has been unfortunately very POORLY planned out and we've had very little opportunities to verbalize any feedback!

So, here's the scoop: At the start of the semester we were told that we would be not only pitching, but working on our own individual animations for a competition. We were offered full creative freedom for what we made, so long as it was kept to a maximum of 1 minute. We could use whatever program we wanted that we were comfortable with, work from home whenever needed, we had much more room to stretch compared to the first year (which i had found out was changed to be more freeing for our CURRENT year one's! I Am Not Mad! About This!)

So what happened? Poor management! We spent more time preparing all the behind the scenes junk that wouldn't see the light of day than we did on the competition itself! The sentiment was shared, so i'm fairly confident when i say that giving a group of students SIX WEEKS MAXIMUM to work on their submission is an INSANE request. 48 hours ago i was losing my mind trying to crunch to get it done, and the only reason it didn't meet the full minute was because i was So So stumped on what to actually fill the animation with!

You know how long the script was? 0! 0 Words! Because we didn't HAVE one! Unless you want to count the three sentences roughly explaining the start, middle and end of the animation, we had no real script to go off of! My one frame of reference was a very loosely thrown together storyboard, but otherwise i was pulling ideas out of thin air. Go figure, a passion project no longer becomes a passion project when the student is just trying to reach the finish line.

Did you know we had to log everything we did weekly too? I didn't! I wasn't aware of this because i was following the lead of my peers! The tutor turned around one day and decided to give us directions that would of been useful SIX WEEKS AGO !! We were given prompt questions for us to talk about our project and the process of creating it, but it was chock-full of REALLY REALLY DUMB QUESTIONS ... If i had to pick a hateful favorite i'd elect "How are you making your animation clearer and more exciting?" and "How are you giving your animation movement?" as candidates. I almost wasn't sure if i was writing for it to be read by professionals or 5 year olds!

That will be all for now! Next time i see you i might have some nicer words to say! I think! I hope!

HELLOO. HELLO TO THE PEOPLE ON NEOCITIES. HELLO TO THE PEOPLE WHO FOUND THIS SITE THROUGH SOME FORM OF ME LINKING IT. 3 GRUELLING MONTHS OF FIGURING OUT HTML AND CSS AND WE'RE FINALLY HERE!

At first i thought i was never gonna get AROUND to doing this. I made my account approx.. 4 years ago? Funny thing is I don't even remember having made it! I don't think teenage me had nearly as much ambition to carve herself a space, but times change! They really do!

It's funny too, there's been nothing on the site since day one. If i so much as tweaked something in the files it would count as an entire "update" and tell the whole block. 300+ views is quite the number for a site that has a broken image hosted on discord!

The effort was certainly worth it though. Sleepless nights can go a long way sometimes when you're looking for your own personal spot online! I also get to blabber on to my heart's content about my apothisexuality! They make it too nerve wracking of an environment to discuss it openly anywhere else online. Those folks tend to be the most agitating you can come across. Humor before boundaries! That sort! Who needs em!

CUSTOMIZATION TOO. How many people have already made the point about how social media spaces nowadays all look indistinguishable and bland? I certainly don't need to be the one to tell you! Even if the aid of templates goes against the idea of building a site from the ground up, people have the option to make it look like whatever they want!

I'm hopeful that my motivation to work on this page doesn't dwindle, now that i've a place im happy with posting on! ^_^